If I Had A Hammer

The Chairman's letterhead complete with his photo and pawprint.

It's The Hammer of Justice!

So, I asked the Kreatrix for a gun and she freaked!

GUN?! We have no guns in this house! Why do you want a gun?

I told her "for protection" from certain people like, for example, a crazy Uncle Samuel who might stop by and, oh, I don't know, want my box of money!! (A reader on the previous post was kind enough to remind me of Kreatrix' Uncle Sam and his sticky fingers when it comes to money).

I said a hammer would work. Confused, she obliged.

Cute floppy cat doll sits on chair in front of the house with a hammer across his lap.
Like I couldn't see her in the bushes "sneaking" a photo of me...

It took me 30 minutes to drag that dang hammer outside the front door and the whole time Kreatrix was singing some hammer song.

A cat's gotta protect his territory from crazy family Uncles. And if you think I'm freaky.

Take. A. Look. At. This!

CatberryTails_Toby2

Photo of a Bearded Dragon lizard in Kreatrix's hand.

That is Kreatrix holding a Bearded Dragon at the pet store. AHHHHHHH!

Now who's the freak, huh?

Kreatrix asked me to post this video. Cool song. Oh, wait!!! I GET IT!

7 thoughts on “If I Had A Hammer

  1. Candie

    Whoa, Chairman, let's just take a little quiet time and rethink the hammer. Love not War, Peace, maybe a sit in or something would be better. Even tea in the harbor would be better than hitting Uncle Sammy's sticky fingers with a hammer. You'll have to ask the Kreatrix about the tea thing.
    Love P,P, & M, groovy man.

    Reply
    1. The Kreatrix

      Post author

      Dearest Candie - Chairman here. Moot point - as you human's like to say. I thought I saw a sneaky human coming up the sidewalk and I couldn't even lift the hammer over my head. And I farted in the process. Turns out the sneaky human was a very nice FedEx delivery man. Can you believe he thought I was cute? ARGH! I'm HANDSOME, people!!!!

      Reply
  2. BJ

    This post is so funny! Chairman, if you and your hammer are available next April 15th, you are cordially invited to sit outside my house. I'm booking you now because once the word gets out, I'm thinking your schedule could get quite busy. On another note, Kreatrix, that Bearded Dragon is just so darn cute!!

    Reply
    1. The Kreatrix

      Post author

      Hi BJ - It's the Chair. Bad news, I can't lift the hammer over my head. When I try I just fart. Sigh. Would a fart act as adequate protection? Because if you've got the hammer, I've got the ammo!

      Reply
  3. Stu

    HaHa! When I saw the Chairman sitting in that chair all I could think of was MC Hammer's "Hammertime" and "You Can't Touch This"

    Reply
    1. The Kreatrix

      Post author

      Dearest Stu,

      The Chairman has taken to wearing his sunglasses inside the house today and playing rap music way too loud. Most especially "You Can't Touch This". He's heard some of the language in rap music and wonders if you, kind Stu, could tell him how to collect money for his curse jar from the rap singers.

      Thoughts?

      Best,
      Kreatrix

      Reply
  4. Kendra

    As if the post wasn't funny enough...I read the comment thread here and oh my. LOL. Now all I'm hearing is that song Can't Touch This along with the chairman sitting with a hammer.

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *