World Domination

James Bondo, The Cat Dolls and The Dalai Lama • 4 Comments

Head Honcho • March 2, 2014

Finally one of us cat dolls gets control of the mouse!

Look at us. We are meditating! More on that later.

First order of business are photos from our annual retreat and our class on using Bondo.

Since it’s been soooo long (ahem) I will remind you of this:

That's right, this is what passes for our World Dominationmobile.

ANYWAY, the CEO and the Prof led the workshop which we held outdoors due to Bondo fumes and my delicate nature with said fumes.

Here I am sanding the Bondo after it dried.

And since I originally thought the Bondo workshop was going to be learning all about James Bond and how to be ultra sneaky, the Kreatrix put this together.

Laugh all you want. I look good!

As for us meditating. I was inspired by a comment from our fan Candie on the previous post. She suggested I “ponder the meaning of life” while waiting for the Kreatrix to get around to my stuff.

Have you ever Googled “what is the meaning of life”? WOAH.

I did find this guy with a very long name – His Holiness the 14th Dalai Lama.

I decided I like him (Note to self: why is it people who wear robes all the time have so much power? Judges, Priests, Monks, Dalai Lamas...)

Check this out.

The Kreatrix and I LOVED this article. The story about the Dalai Lama riding the ski lift will make you smile AND he has something to say about the meaning of life!

Thank you Candie! This 007 cat doll is going to sit and meditate some more.

The Cat’s Bike • 6 Comments

The Kreatrix • December 15, 2013

I’m gonna use a big word, so stand back.

I’m flummoxed. Yes, stumped by you humans. Just when I think I’ve figured out how you get around, I learn something else. What’s next? You gonna fly? HAHAHA!

Here is what happened after we attempted using the Kreatrix’ car:

I’m told this is a bike.

I do like how shiny and new it looks.

The World Domination Squad gathered around it and waited for it to do something. We even threw a key at it.

Then the Kreatrix said:

“I got it for you to ride. You get on it and off you go! And the best part is, you don’t need a key to start it.”

Woah. Profound. Humans actually like something that doesn’t have a key?

I politely asked

“Where’s the gas tank?”

She pointed at my stomach.

SAY WHAT? I am NOT gonna guzzle gasoline!

“No. Eat a good meal so you can peddle hard with your legs.”

Seriously? That’s fun? She tried to convince me by helping me get on the thing.

Okay, so I look smokin’.

Ginger got all giggly and got on the thing with me and wrapped her paws around…um…me…and well…well…okay, fine, it makes me look cool.

I googled the hardware store and when I found just exactly where the closest one was located here is what I hollered down the hall to the Kreatrix.

“I am NOT peddling that thing 10 miles round trip! NOT, I tell you! I’m just a little guy with big dreams and a lot of courage in locating my true destiny that is basked in the glow of universal approval and frankly, the universe needs to cut me some slack!”

Ya wanna know what she said after she stopped laughing?

“You’ll figure it out. I have confidence in you.”

I was so mad, I suddenly became brilliant.

I called a neighbor and asked to borrow their screwdriver tool making sure that it’s not the screwdriver drink.

The D Squad gave me a good send off as I peddled UP HILL!

And then I arrived!!!!

Not only did he give me a screwdriver tool but he gave me a helmet and said to wear it while on the bike.

He was so nice I couldn’t tell him I looked like a dork. Whatever.

Ten minutes later, my Peeps were still waiting for me and cheered when they saw the screwdriver.

YOWZA! Not 10 miles! 10 minutes!!! And I got the screwdriver.

You all are in trouble now, I tell you!!! Mwahahahaha!!!!

Catberry Tails Community Takes Shape! • 4 Comments

The Kreatrix • December 12, 2013

Wowie wow wow wow!

So I screamed like a little kitten when I met my peeps! It’s one thing to talk about your community, it’s another thing when it starts coming true!

I’m calling the orange one Ginger. I may or may not have a little crush on her. She’s very silly and, well, pretty.

Two cute, funny cat dolls pose together. — The Chairman and Ginger

So far, I’m calling the other one Dude. Mainly because I kept screaming “DUDE, you scared the kitty poo outta me!”

Dude and Ginger got the full tour. It was Ginger’s idea to place the fake poinsettia plants (real ones are poisonous!) on the RLC’s while they slept and then take pictures of ourselves with them. HAHA.

Oh dear, I Am So Afraid…NOT! Look at Rudy’s face. He woke up and was all like “what the hiss is that?”

We had to move fast to get our picture taken.

I let Ginger and Dude in on my World Domination plan and how I need a screwdriver thingy to hack into the cool vintage iMac. However, I need to borrow the car machine and order it to take me to the hardware store.

I went out front and had a few words with the car.

"Hey, machine thingy, how's about you takin' me to the store."

Nothin'. So I decided to look it right in an eyeball and speak firmly.

"Pop open those doors, big fella, and let me hop in!"

Still nothin’. Dumber than a dog, those machines are. Just sat and stared at me.

Then I discover what stands between me and the hardware store.

KEYS.

A word about keys. They, also, hold great power and importance for humans. Apparently a key will MAKE a machine take you to the store.

Small problemo…why do you humans have sooooo many keys?

I recruited the World Domination Squad.

The Chairman and Dude, two funny cat dolls, study the car keys. — The Chairman (with his cat) and Dude

We pawed through them trying to figure out which was the magic key to a car machine.

Ginger just wanted to take selfies.

Then Dude had the brilliant idea to take all the keys out to the driveway and throw them one by one against the cars to see which one would make it open the doors. But when we got out there I noticed a little notch on the door of the Kreatrix' car. Hmmmm.

Hallelujah! One of those babies actually fit!

Here I am about to make it all happen:

And then this happened.

sigh. And she says THE single most popular phrase EVER these days:

"What are you doing?"

I told her I needed a screwdriver.

And she looked all funny-like and said:

"The drink or the tool?"

Confusion abounds. Not wanting to look stupid, I politely asked which one would do the job?

"Both are capable but one should not be used in combination with that car. "

Humans. Drinks are tools. Keys are powerful. Anything with a screen is powerful. You put dead trees in your house with lights all over them. Honestly.

I think I need a drink.

The Chairman Will Return • 7 Comments

The Kreatrix • December 10, 2013

I, the Kreatrix, am stepping in for my little buddy, the Chairman, who will be taking a few days off to attend to pressing family issues. The video below will explain it all. Please join us Friday when we resume our regular schedule.

And for the record, we have no keywords for the spiderbots to latch onto. Oh my. I fear we will go unnoticed for several days. I love my little Chairman but his family needs him at this time.

Crazy Cat Lady Toils Under Vader-like Deadlines! • 5 Comments

Head Honcho • December 3, 2013

Tragedy strikes as Crazy Cat Lady Tries to Cope

I get the feeling clients are kinda like Darth Vader. They breathe down your back and claim to be something you hope they aren't.

Anywho, Clients are ruining my quest for World Domination because I NEED the help of the Kreatrix and she is busy worshiping clients.

She has been working for sooooo many days on stuff like this:

Beautiful bathing lady on pink floral background.

I've almost given up hope of my army ever getting done. She mumbles words like "mortgage" and some person named Ira, who apparently will hold onto money for her until she is old and then cough it up like a ripe furball on a freshly cleaned carpet. She seems tired and sad.

In an attempt to understand my crazy cat lady I went out in the garage to rummage around in the boxes stored out there. I found some very interesting artifacts.

Um. D.O.G.S. Yuck! Why, Kreatrix, why did you paint this in your tortured youth?

This is more like it! Kitties made out of scraps of fabric! Clearly by this time she had grabbed hold of her senses!

Oh look, she drew a portrait of a dog person and pasted her own hand stamped paper around the bad man:

This looks like a typical crazy cat lady but mine is much younger....much, much, much, much, MUCH younger and much, much, much, much prettier. MUCH.

Kreatrix didn't want me to post the next picture because she said the lips are stupid.

I'd just like to have lips. They are apparently good for kissing. So ta da!

I have to go help the Kreatrix make it through the night so the evil clients don't eat her soul.

At one point today she looked at me and said

"Here is a magic clue for you to use regarding your vintage iMac: screwdriver."

I grabbed my piggy bank to make her pay for cursing. She laughed and said,

"Google it, silly boy, and then go find one in the garage."

STAY TUNED! I'm on it like kitty litter stuck to poopy piles.

Revenge of the Vintage iMac • 6 Comments

Head Honcho • December 1, 2013

This Vintage iMac Will Not Defeat Me

Before we get started, let’s just get this out there for the spiderbots looking for today’s keywords: Vintage iMac, vintage iMac, vintage iMac.

Ok. It is my understanding that some of you aren’t sure I can handle the weaponry needed to carry out my plan. I assure you, I can.

HOWEVER, just to be safe I began by letting Wally, Melvin and Rudy out the front door.

JOKING! I closed them up in the back room. Sheesh. You’ll believe anything.

Immediately, I had to ditch the safety goggles. What’s so safe about ‘em if you can’t see what you’re doing?

I was determined to hack into this baby, so I tried a lot of this:

I could feel my frustration mounting but I kept on.

And kept on…

Nothing worked! I even tried the added weight of my cat laying on me.

“I have deadlines to meet, people!!” I screamed as I pounded the vintage imac with my soft little paws.

And then I let slip with an apparently bad word and began sobbing.

Suddenly, I felt her presence.

“What did you say?” she said in her best Clint Eastwood growl.

oh, boy.

In a super sweet voice, I told her:

“um… ‘oh-stuff-you-find-in-the-kitty-pan’ I have deadlines to meet?”

Yah. That worked.

So this is her idea:

“Every time you say a bad word, you have to put some money in your piggy bank.”

I thought it sounded like a pretty sweet deal until she told me I couldn’t use any coins of hers. They had to come from my paycheck. I grabbed hold of myself and asked if I could have a list of objectionable words so I can plan ahead.

“Deal. Oh...Wally is feeling a little left out. Let's post a pretty picture of him,” she said.

Oh, horse doody. Fine.

Catberry Cat Doll Army Takes Shape • 9 Comments

Head Honcho • November 28, 2013

ALLEDGED CUTE CAT DOLLS TAKE SHAPE!

She told me they were cute cat dolls but I know better. And while everyone was stuffing the turkey and themselves, I did my own stuffing and kept my eye on the prize. ~~WORLD DOM~~ uh Community Building.

Look at this! Not quite sure what I got here but the Kreatrix gave me this assignment so I'm on it like kitty litter stuck on -

The Kreatrix told me not to type what I was gonna say. Fine.

But look at the progress!

Fresh colorful cat doll arms all lined up.

Melvin simply had too much to eat on Thanksgiving Day. So I put him to work.

All together now:

"And one, two, one, two, and reach-for-the-sky and one, two, one, two, work it boyfriend...uh-huh"

Melvin_WorkingOut

After extensive research on the World Wide Web, I've discovered that my score from the other day:

is a vintage iMac. Vintage means old. Old means cool...when it comes to stuff, anyway. Vintage humans don't fair as well on the World Wide Web. What's up with that?

Got big plans for this.

SOON iMac ... SOON.

Earth-Shattering Whimsical Cat Doll News • 5 Comments

Head Honcho • November 24, 2013

Whimsical Call Dolls Take It Up a Notch!

Well, looky here. This ultra sleek, ultra modern and colorful thingy was sitting at the curb and I knew it was destined for me!

Why? Don’t know. Don’t even know what it is but I do know humans stare at anything with a screen for HOURS on end. Soooo anything with a screen must be VERY, VERY powerful.

That’s right…you know where I’m going with this. ~~WORLD DOMINATION~~ Community Building.

So, I recruited the CEO to help carry it into our headquarters.

My new cat enjoyed the ride up top.

But we kinda got annoyed when he kept screaming

“I’m King of the World! Celine, where are you when I need you?”

Whew! Victory!

My cat kept saying…

"Do it again. Do it again! Again! Again!"

We sat and stared at it for hours…waiting for it to do something.

FINALLY, the Kreatrix joined us.

In all her infinite wisdom she remarked:

“Hmmm. What are you gonna do with it?”

Haven’t a clue. The on button won’t even work. I shared with her my deepest feelings about being brave in my quest for World Domination. How I needed to remain vulnerable in my courage so that people could relate to how willing I am to be cracked open with vulnerability and I would be willing to lean into my courage if I just knew what I was supposed to lean into.

She said:

“What the heck are you talking about?”

I don’t know…I read it somewhere on the internet.

“Uh-huh. Well. Use the Force, Luke. You’ll figure out what to do with it.”

I hate when she says that! Like I’ll be able to figure -----OH WAIT! OH GLORIOUS DAY…. I gotta go. I gotta get to work! I am gonna RULE!!! Whimsical cat dolls (keyword alert) are gonna rule!

Building an Army! • 3 Comments

Head Honcho • November 20, 2013

Fine. I was busted. The stress of running this conglomerate got to me and I snapped...just a little bit. I am supposed to publicly apologize to Wally so I'd like to eat two birds with one stone and use the keyword for today's post in my apology.

"I hereby apologize to Wally, one of the whimsical cats that is not a doll, for locking your furry little whimsical cat's booty up in the whimsical cats carrier."

Okay then. We're good.

Lot's happening around here while we forge on towards ~~World Domination~~ Community Building. Here's some fabric painted by the Kreatrix (I watched).

LOOK AT THIS! I like picking out the eyeballs for my cat ~~army~~ community. Sooooo many choices.

Woop! That guy back there kinda looks like me.

AND THEN TRAGEDY STRUCK! The Kreatrix stopped working on my clan in order to do this:

Now correct me if I'm wrong but that sure looks like a D O G!

I am shocked. Shocked, I tell you. I must research the all important meaning of the word "client". Apparently, clients are closer to World Domination than I currently am because there's been a whole lotta bowing and scraping to this client thing.

So I tried to work on my own.