The Vintage iMac


The Chairman's letterhead complete with his photo and pawprint.

Dear hungry spiderbots,

Here are your words to chew on: vintage iMac, vintage iMac. BOOYAH!

(and if you're still uncertain regarding the ever present spiderbots, please click here)

Dude and I have been very busy!

The Chairman and Dude sit next to a vintage iMac surrounded by screwdrivers. They are gutting it.

I kept Googling how to gut an iMac and found some pretty cool videos but I have to point out:

You ADULT humans use way too many words! I found a little human dude around 11 years old who taught me how to pull this baby apart! KIDS ROCK!!

The Chairman watching a youtube video from a boy of about 11 who is a child genius!

Melvin kept whispering jokes about Wally in my ear.

Melvin, the real life cat, puts his nose up to The Chairman's ear while he's working on the vintage iMac.

BEHOLD! The Motherboard. Woah! Very, very cool. Talk about World Domination! This looks very important and I look like I know what I'm doing!!

The Chairman hovering over the motherboard from the vintage iMac.

While Dude and I worked on my cool vintage iMac, our poor Kreatrix was back to working on"waste bags." Right. Waste Bags my pahtooty.

You and I both know what goes in them. Remember this fiasco?

A pretty box filled with rolls of Doggie poop bags.

Anyway...she had to make the above prototype for a business pitch.

Dear Kreatrix:

A+  for effort

F   for subject matter



The Chairman's letterhead complete with his photo and pawprint.

I’m gonna use a big word, so stand back.

I’m flummoxed. Yes, stumped by you humans.  Just when I think I’ve figured out how you get around, I learn something else. What’s next? You gonna fly? HAHAHA!

Here is what happened after we attempted using the Kreatrix’ car:

The Chairman and his fellow cat dolls gather around to look at a miniature bicycle.

I’m told this is a bike.

I do like how shiny and new it looks.

The World Domination Squad gathered around it and waited for it to do something. We even threw a key at it.

Then the Kreatrix said:

“I got it for you to ride. You get on it and off you go! And the best part is, you don’t need a key to start it.”

Woah. Profound. Humans actually like something that doesn’t have a key?

I politely asked

“Where’s the gas tank?”

She pointed at my stomach.

SAY WHAT? I am NOT gonna guzzle gasoline!

“No. Eat a good meal so you can peddle hard with your legs.”

Seriously? That’s fun? She tried to convince me by helping me get on the thing.

The Chairman poses on the miniature bike like a macho man.

Okay, so I look smokin’.

Ginger got all giggly and got on the thing with me and wrapped her paws around…um…me…and well…well…okay, fine, it makes me look cool.

The Chairman on bike with Ginger.

I googled the hardware store and when I found just exactly where the closest one was located here is what I hollered down the hall to the Kreatrix.

“I am NOT peddling that thing 10 miles round trip! NOT, I tell you! I’m just a little guy with big dreams and a lot of courage in locating my true destiny that is basked in the glow of universal approval and frankly, the universe needs to cut me some slack!”

Ya wanna know what she said after she stopped laughing?

“You’ll figure it out. I have confidence in you.”

I was so mad, I suddenly became brilliant.

I called a neighbor and asked to borrow their screwdriver tool making sure that it’s not the screwdriver drink.

The D Squad gave me a good send off as I peddled UP HILL!

Two funny cat dolls, Ginger and The Dude, wave goodbye to The Chairman.

The Chairman and his cat on the bike peddling up hill to the next door neighbor.

And then I arrived!!!!

The Chairman gets a screwdriver and a bicycle helmet from the next door neighbor.

Not only did he give me a screwdriver tool but he gave me a helmet and said to wear it while on the bike.

The Chairman comes back down the sidewalk with the screwdriver in his bike basket.

He was so nice I couldn’t tell him I looked like a dork. Whatever.

Ten minutes later, my Peeps were still waiting for me and cheered when they saw the screwdriver.

The Dude and Ginger wait as The Chairman peddles the bike downhill.

YOWZA! Not 10 miles! 10 minutes!!! And I got the screwdriver.

You all are in trouble now, I tell you!!! Mwahahahaha!!!!


The Chairman's letterhead complete with his photo and pawprint.Wowie wow wow wow!

So I screamed like a little kitten when I met my peeps! It’s one thing to talk about your community, it’s another thing when it starts coming true!

I’m calling the orange one Ginger. I may or may not have a little crush on her. She’s very silly and, well, pretty.

Two cute, funny cat dolls pose together.
The Chairman and Ginger

So far, I’m calling the other one Dude. Mainly because I kept screaming “DUDE, you scared the kitty poo outta me!”

Dude and Ginger got the full tour. It was Ginger’s idea to place the fake poinsettia plants (real ones are poisonous!) on the RLC’s while they slept and then take pictures of ourselves with them. HAHA.

Fake poinsettia flower placed on Wally while he sleeps.

Wally the cat with a christmas flower on him as he sleeps.

Oh dear, I Am So Afraid…NOT! Look at Rudy’s face. He woke up and was all like “what the hiss is that?”

Rudy the cat with a fake Poinsettia flower on his back.

We had to move fast to get our picture taken.

Cat dolls take a selfie in front of Wally the cat who has a fake poinsettia on his body.

I let Ginger and Dude in on my World Domination plan and how I need a screwdriver thingy to hack into the cool vintage iMac. However, I need to borrow the car machine and order it to take me to the hardware store.

I went out front and had a few words with the car.

"Hey, machine thingy, how's about you takin' me to the store."

The Chairman puts his paws on the car and talks to it.

Nothin'. So I decided to look it right in an eyeball and speak firmly.

"Pop open those doors, big fella, and let me hop in!"

The Chairman talks to the headlight on the car.

Still nothin’. Dumber than a dog, those machines are. Just sat and stared at me.

Then I discover what stands between me and the hardware store.


A word about keys. They, also, hold great power and importance for humans. Apparently a key will MAKE a machine take you to the store.

A plate full of way too many keys.

Small problemo…why do you humans have sooooo many keys?

I recruited the World Domination Squad.

Three cat dolls paw through keys trying to determine which one is for the car.

The Chairman and Dude, two funny cat dolls, study the car keys.
The Chairman (with his cat) and Dude

We pawed through them trying to figure out which was the magic key to a car machine.

Ginger just wanted to take selfies.

Ginger, an orange whimsical cat doll, photoboms the other cats.

Then Dude had the brilliant idea to take all the keys out to the driveway and throw them one by one against the cars to see which one would make it open the doors. But when we got out there I noticed a little notch on the door of the Kreatrix' car. Hmmmm.

The Cat dolls are on a step ladder in order to reach the keyhole on an older Honda.

Hallelujah! One of those babies actually fit!

Here I am about to make it all happen:

Close up of the Chairman turning the key in the door.

And then this happened.

Kreatrix stands in the background with her hands on her hips as the cats try to get into the car.

sigh. And she says THE single most popular phrase EVER these days:

"What are you doing?"

I told her I needed a screwdriver.

And she looked all funny-like and said:

"The drink or the tool?"

Confusion abounds. Not wanting to look stupid, I politely asked which one would do the job?

"Both are capable but one should not be used in combination with that car. "

Humans. Drinks are tools. Keys are powerful. Anything with a screen is powerful. You put dead trees in your house with lights all over them. Honestly.

I think I need a drink.


The Chairman's letterhead complete with his photo and pawprint.

This Vintage iMac Will Not Defeat Me

Before we get started, let’s just get this out there for the spiderbots looking for today’s keywords: Vintage iMac, vintage iMac, vintage iMac.

Ok. It is my understanding that some of you aren’t sure I can handle the weaponry needed to carry out my plan. I assure you, I can.

Cute cat doll poses in front of vintage iMac with a saw.

HOWEVER, just to be safe I began by letting Wally, Melvin and Rudy out the front door.

JOKING! I closed them up in the back room. Sheesh. You’ll believe anything.

Immediately, I had to ditch the safety goggles. What’s so safe about ‘em if you can’t see what you’re doing?

I was determined to hack into this baby, so I tried a lot of this:

Funny cat doll trying to saw open a vintage iMac.

I could feel my frustration mounting but I kept on.

Funny Cat doll still trying to saw open a vintage iMac.

And kept on…

Nothing worked! I even tried the added weight of my cat laying on me.

Funny cat doll with his pet cat trying to saw open the vintage iMac.

“I have deadlines to meet, people!!” I screamed as I pounded the vintage imac with my soft little paws.

And then I let slip with an apparently bad word and began sobbing.

Funny cat doll resting his head on the vintage iMac as he cries in frustration while his cat looks on.

Suddenly, I felt her presence.

Funny cat dolls staring upwards at the human standing out of camera range.

“What did you say?” she said in her best Clint Eastwood growl.

oh, boy.

In a super sweet voice, I told her:

“um… ‘oh-stuff-you-find-in-the-kitty-pan’ I have deadlines to meet?”

Yah. That worked.

So this is her idea:

“Every time you say a bad word, you have to put some money in your piggy bank.”

The Kreatrix hands the Chairman his cool cat piggy bank.

I thought it sounded like a pretty sweet deal until she told me I couldn’t use any coins of hers. They had to come from my paycheck. I grabbed hold of myself and asked if I could have a list of objectionable words so I can plan ahead.

“Deal. Oh...Wally is feeling a little left out. Let's post a pretty picture of him,” she said.

Oh, horse doody. Fine.

Beautiful picture of real life cat Wally as he stretches out on a pretty blanket.


The Chairman's letterhead complete with his photo and pawprint.


She told me they were cute cat dolls but I know better. And while everyone was stuffing the turkey and themselves, I did my own stuffing and kept my eye on the prize. WORLD DOM uh Community Building.

Cute Catberry cat doll helps build more cats.

Look at this! Not quite sure what I got here but the Kreatrix gave me this assignment so I'm on it like kitty litter stuck on -

The Kreatrix told me not to type what I was gonna say. Fine.

But look at the progress!


Melvin simply had too much to eat on Thanksgiving Day. So I put him to work.

All together now:

"And one, two, one, two, and reach-for-the-sky and one, two, one, two, work it boyfriend...uh-huh"


After extensive research on the World Wide Web, I've discovered that my score from the other day:

Two Cat dolls carrying an iMac computer. is a vintage iMac. Vintage means old. Old means cool...when it comes to stuff, anyway. Vintage humans don't fair as well on the World Wide Web.  What's up with that?

Got big plans for this.


SOON iMac ... SOON.



Whimsical Call Dolls Take It Up a Notch!

The Chairman's letterhead complete with his photo and pawprint.

Well, looky here. This ultra sleek, ultra modern and colorful thingy was sitting at the curb and I knew it was destined for me!


Why? Don’t know. Don’t even know what it is but I do know humans stare at anything with a screen for HOURS on end. Soooo anything with a screen must be VERY, VERY powerful.

That’s right…you know where I’m going with this. WORLD DOMINATION Community Building.

So, I recruited the CEO to help carry it into our headquarters.

Two Cat dolls carrying an iMac computer.

My new cat enjoyed the ride up top.

But we kinda got annoyed when he kept screaming

“I’m King of the World! Celine, where are you when I need you?”

Cute Cat Doll actd out famous scene from the movie The Titanic.

Whew! Victory!

Cat Dolls collapsed in fatique

My cat kept saying…

            "Do it again. Do it again! Again! Again!"

We sat and stared at it for hours…waiting for it to do something.

Cute cat dolls still watching a blank iMac screen.

Cat dolls still watching a blank iMac screen.

FINALLY, the Kreatrix joined us.


In all her infinite wisdom she remarked:

“Hmmm. What are you gonna do with it?”

Haven’t a clue. The on button won’t even work. I shared with her my deepest feelings about being brave in my quest for World Domination. How I needed to remain vulnerable in my courage so that people could relate to how willing I am to be cracked open with vulnerability and I would be willing to lean into my courage if I just knew what I was supposed to lean into.

She said:

“What the heck are you talking about?”

I don’t know…I read it somewhere on the internet.

“Uh-huh. Well. Use the Force, Luke. You’ll figure out what to do with it.”

I hate when she says that! Like I’ll be able to figure -----OH WAIT! OH GLORIOUS DAY…. I gotta go. I gotta get to work! I am gonna RULE!!! Whimsical cat dolls (keyword alert) are gonna rule!