In the beginning…

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The Chairman's letterhead complete with his photo and pawprint.

Holy smokels, I've found my lifelong career!

PROFESSIONAL CURSER, LLC

Dude and I decided to balance all the feminine energy going down in the house. Too much sewing and weaving and such.

So.

We did what men love doing. Count money!

Two adorable cat dolls counting coins on the floor with the curse jar nearby.

Well...from the curse jar, anyway.

The Chairman with his paw on the curse jar.

From what I hear, manly men throw out a mean curse now and then...especially whilst driving their cars or watching sweaty athletes bash each other to bits.

Hey. Never underestimate the power and beauty of a well placed curse word.

Behold!

A shoebox full or coins rolled in wrappers ready to go to the bank. There are a lot of rolls!

Seriously people. That's a lot of cursing in that box.

Kreatix said:

"Don't get too proud of yourself. My brother had to bite a bar of soap when he was little and cut loose with the S bomb. He blew bubbles for weeks."

I've never tasted soap. I'll have to try it because I think I sniff a veiled threat in that statement of hers.

NOTE TO SELF: taste a bar of soap and see if Professional Cursing is worth it.

 

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The Chairman's letterhead complete with his photo and pawprint.

She Likes Big Butts Especially on Cat Dolls

We had a board meeting and the Kreatrix announced a redesign on our butts. I was a bit offended at first but then I saw her point. Let's face it, a bigger booty allows for a more steady seated position. Ya know...so we don't fall over backward.

NOTE TO SELF: Do tiny-butt humans fall over backwards? Must Google it.

The Cat Dolls at their board room table viewing a sample doll from Pier One.

Kreatrix purchased some cute dolls from Pier One for us to see because they had nice butts. (You might think butts is our key word for the spiderbots today but that would just be icky)

The Chairman and Ginger seated at the Boardroom table.

The Chairman is participating in a cell phone call at the boardroom table.

I had my first conference call ever! I could get used to this!! We also reviewed a great book that had ideas for butt implants on dolls. Kreatrix thought the book was incredible! Stuffed Animals; From Concept to Construction by Abigail Glassenberg.

Kreatrix will experiment with some cool, soft vintage fabric she found.

The Chairman inspects the vintage fabric the new dolls will be made from.

We gathered for our after meeting photo and Dude finally showed up. Check out Ginger shooting him the stink eye.

Ginger leans back and stares at Dude who is perched on the edge of the table.

Turns out Dude was on a Top Secret Mission for the Kreatrix.

A BIG MISSION. Kreatrix put money in the curse jar so we could let loose if we needed to.

The Kreatrix puts money in the curse jar as she introduces more cats to the community.

AHHHHHHHH! There's more of us!!

The Chairman covers his mouth in shock. Ginger's mouth goes into an Oh. Dude says to check out the new Denim cutie. More cats are introduced!

The three new members sit on the table.

Yowza Meowza! Some of those cats look a lot like me! I can hardly wait to get to know them. We're going to need all the helping paws around here we can get!

Get offa our tiny butts and get to work!!!

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The Chairman's letterhead complete with his photo and pawprint.

So Santa is Really a Man Named Mr. Craigs List

Remember my Christmas wish list?

Remember this?

Beautiful, muscle sports car.

Well, thanks to Mr. Craigs List, I got this instead. I beg of you, why?

Beaten up child's electric car with potential.

I called an emergency meeting with the World Domination Squad and the Kreatrix.

She tells me:

“Find your inner Einstein and use it. I know he’s in there somewhere.”

Oh, man. Why does everything have to have so many steps involved?

So I look up Einstein and here is what I found:

Classic Einstein photo in black and white with his tongue out.

And this quote:

"His great intellectual achievements and originality have made the word "Einstein" synonymous with genius."

You humans really confuse me. Does this mean she’s a genius?

Miley Cyrus with her tongue sticking out.

Personally, the little genius known as The Chairman has a bone to pick with Mr. Craigs List.

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I, the Kreatrix, am stepping in for my little buddy, the Chairman, who will be taking a few days off to attend to pressing family issues. The video below will explain it all. Please join us Friday when we resume our regular schedule.

And for the record, we have no keywords for the spiderbots to latch onto. Oh my. I fear we will go unnoticed for several days. I love my little Chairman but his family needs him at this time.

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Whimsical Call Dolls Take It Up a Notch!

The Chairman's letterhead complete with his photo and pawprint.

Well, looky here. This ultra sleek, ultra modern and colorful thingy was sitting at the curb and I knew it was destined for me!

Catberry_iMac_onstreet

Why? Don’t know. Don’t even know what it is but I do know humans stare at anything with a screen for HOURS on end. Soooo anything with a screen must be VERY, VERY powerful.

That’s right…you know where I’m going with this. WORLD DOMINATION Community Building.

So, I recruited the CEO to help carry it into our headquarters.

Two Cat dolls carrying an iMac computer.

My new cat enjoyed the ride up top.

But we kinda got annoyed when he kept screaming

“I’m King of the World! Celine, where are you when I need you?”

Cute Cat Doll actd out famous scene from the movie The Titanic.

Whew! Victory!

Cat Dolls collapsed in fatique

My cat kept saying…

            "Do it again. Do it again! Again! Again!"

We sat and stared at it for hours…waiting for it to do something.

Cute cat dolls still watching a blank iMac screen.

Cat dolls still watching a blank iMac screen.

FINALLY, the Kreatrix joined us.

Catberry_WatchingwKreatrix

In all her infinite wisdom she remarked:

“Hmmm. What are you gonna do with it?”

Haven’t a clue. The on button won’t even work. I shared with her my deepest feelings about being brave in my quest for World Domination. How I needed to remain vulnerable in my courage so that people could relate to how willing I am to be cracked open with vulnerability and I would be willing to lean into my courage if I just knew what I was supposed to lean into.

She said:

“What the heck are you talking about?”

I don’t know…I read it somewhere on the internet.

“Uh-huh. Well. Use the Force, Luke. You’ll figure out what to do with it.”

I hate when she says that! Like I’ll be able to figure -----OH WAIT! OH GLORIOUS DAY…. I gotta go. I gotta get to work! I am gonna RULE!!! Whimsical cat dolls (keyword alert) are gonna rule!

 

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Cute cat doll with huge eyes.I conducted a courageous marathon of "contemplative sitting" in my attempt to understand World Domination. And yet, my journey continues to fill me with ennui.

Eww. I just used a really vague word.

Rather, my journey fills me with angst, um...bad feelings....fine, a stomach ache. See here and here if you're wondering about my brave journey towards World Domination.

 

World Domination Part 3 from Catberry Tails on Vimeo.

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Cute cat doll with huge eyes.In my attempt to understand World Domination (go here for the planting of the seed), I took a wander around the World Wide Web - the same one that has spiders crawling all over eating bits of blogs.

I found some interesting things regarding Domination but scarcely little to be found about WORLD DOMINATION.

I only had to do some minor revisions to the definitions of Domination to make them better:

Definition with words crossed out and others, like cat, added in.Definition with words crossed out and funny comments added.Another definition with words crossed out and funny ones added.

LOVE this one:

And yet another humoursly rewritten definition from the internet.I crown myself Dominus Felinius. And yet...I still feel empty.

SO...I gathered some interesting artifacts I found around the house. Some things I could possibly be a Dominus of.

VOILA! Ta freakin da!

Various cat collectibles found around the house.Apparently Crazy Cat Ladies collect all this kind of kitty cat stuff.

How do I look Dominating them?

The Chairman doll posed in front of Crazy Cat Lady's collectible cat figurines and such.I'm really upset that the Kreatrix took the following photos AND she insisted they be in this post. I'd rather you just skim over them.

Melvin, the cat, jumps on the table with the collectiblesThe Chairman tries to shoo Melvin off the table.But she snapped away like some kind of crazed paparazzi, laughing and saying:

"Oh look, Melvin is dominating the photo shoot"!

And she really leaned into THAT WORD.

I noticed when we were putting the Crazy Cat Lady toys away, there were a few that made her get quiet and teary-eyed. If you hover your mouse (YUM) over each photo you'll see why.

 

Personally, I like this little dude. I know how he feels.

Carved cat with silly expression

I must keep searching...World Domination eludes me.

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LOOK WHAT CAME IN THE DOOR THIS WEEKEND

Whimsical Cat Doll selfie with children's table.Not sure what to do with it, but it feels momentous.

Wally the real cat and a whimsical cat doll sit at table.I somehow feel my destiny lies with this…this…big, white, flat, seaty thingy. Wally said “ it’s a table and we’re not supposed to get on it”.  And then the Kreatrix said:

“I got it for you guys. It’s your table.”

Wow. Seriously? Wow. I’m honored. Don’t know why, but I am.

The CEO actually came out to inspect it.

Old whimsical cat doll sits on upside down chair on table top.Our wise old leader took a seat up top, and as he surveyed his kingdom we heard him softly remark:

“Can’t say much for the comfort of this particular seat but we’ll work on it.”

And then he took my face in his hands and said:

"This could be the start of something really stupendous. Don’t blow it, kid.”

The wise old cat doll, the CEO, gives advice to the Chairman.No pressure there. I’m scared. I have so much to remember. Like keywords and spiderbots and making nice-nice with the RLC’s. Oh, by the way, our keyword for this post is WHIMSICAL CAT DOLL.  See? I gotta worry about saying that again. Well, this WHIMSICAL CAT DOLL could just sit down and cry from the pressure of it all. Wally wouldn’t understand ‘cause he’s not a WHIMSICAL CAT DOLL. Geez.

ALSO, this came in the door.Whimsical cat doll poses with ceramic cat piggy bank.I thought it was some magical ancient relic from my ancestors but instead I’m told it’s a pig…or piggy bank…can’t remember. Silly. EVEN THOUGH it looks like a….WHIMSICAL CAT DOLL (heheheh)…I’m told you feed it coins in the slot up top and then it does absolutely nothing. Big woop. But I do like him and I figure he’s tied into my destiny.

So I’m keeping him.

To summarize, I have a table and a do-nothing coin eater that’s a pig but looks like a cool cat.

Catberry Tail's Chairman poses with ceramic cat piggy bank.I’m thinking World Domination is in order.

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Cute cat doll with huge eyes.

Today we had a little mega meltdown.

Rudy, the cat, and The Chairman help their Crazy Cat Lady.
Crazy Cat Lady Meltdown

Best I can understand it is there are little spider robots crawling all around the internet and they pick up stuff from your blog and barf it up like a bad furball onto Google, Yahoo and Bing (and what the Hiss kinda names are those?)

For some reason, all this is upsetting the Kreatrix…or rather I should say CRAZY CAT LADY. Did you feel that? A spider just crawled all over CRAZY CAT LADY. And again it did. Here is what my beloved CRAZY CAT LADY said:

"In order for people to find us on the internet we have to attract the Search Engines and their minions, The Spiderbots. We do that by using keywords that apply to our site. I could just cry. All we want to do is just be ourselves but now we have to make sure we stick in words like Catberry Tails, Cats, Crazy Cat Lady, Cat Dolls…ON EVERY POST. How else will the little spider bots find us and stick us in the proper Categories where people can find us?"

Don’t know why she’s so upset because Wally, Smelly Melly and Rudy excel at chasing spiders, eating them and barfing them up. I’ve already spoken to the boys and they are ready to roll.

Anywho. No pressure CRAZY CAT LADY, but your first post was on October 7th. It is now NOVEMBER! So pull it together, figure out about the spider invasion and let’s get this CRAZY CAT LADY show on the road.

High five!

Cute cat doll raises paw for a high five.