Some of Us Have Lost Our Marbles • 6 Comments

The Kreatrix • November 29, 2016

We already know the Kreatrix's marbles have been missing for a long time.

And...

But now it seems she's passed this disease on to some of my newest community members.

She brought home this hand-dyed fabric from her friend, a well-known tapestry and textile artist, and presented it to me with a flourish:

Behold...I bring you marbled fabric.

catberrytails_marblefabric2 — Hand marbled raw silk

Beautiful hand-dyed marbled fabric on raw silk. — Hand marbled raw silk

So if I understand correctly...her friend Lynda lost her marbles on some expensive raw silk fabric. AND. It's one-of-a-kind, original, yadda yadda yadda.

Ok. It's pretty. But I'm not so sure about people losing their marbles just for the sake of my World Domination plan. Hasn't the world lost enough of its marbles? Seriously, humans.

CAN WE PLEASE GO OUT AND PICK UP OUR MARBLES AND PUT THEM BACK WHERE THEY BELONG???

Sheesh.

So here's the result of people losing their marbles.

Two very cute cats seated with crossed legs. They are made from raw silk marbled fabric. — Seated cat measure 12.5" tall.

So how did marble tossing by humans create these fine chaps but cause so much chaos elsewhere in the world?

SEE WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU THROW YOUR MARBLES IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION?!!!

Dr. Rascal put Jellybean and Popcorn (don't ask) through the initiation ceremony where they learn how to pose and how to understand humans. You heard correctly.

Jellybean in the Catberry Tails official portrait:

Adorable soft sculpture cat made of hand marbled fabric is seated in wicker chair. — Jellybean is approximately 22" tall (feet to ear tip)

Here is Popcorn from the back.

catberrytails_marblecatback — As shown here, seated height: 12.5" tall

The good news is Jellybean went to a forever home in Boise, Idaho! World Domination is panning out nicely! And Jellybean's new family emailed us some photographs!

Jellybean seems to be enjoying his new real live cats named Blackie and Periwinkle.

Gotta admit, Periwinkle up there seems kinda skeptical about Jellybean. Not to worry. Dr. Rascal trained Jellybean on how to win EVERYONE over.

So I'm off to the backyard where I'm going to practice throwing some marbles around and see what I come up with.

Please pick yours up after you've tossed them...no littering, humans!

It’s All in the Details • 7 Comments

The Kreatrix • October 19, 2016

Who Knew Details Could Be So Demanding?

Allow me to present Rudy demonstrating how I, the Chairman, feel right now.

Yes. I am filled to the brim with a sense of pious disgruntlement for our dear Kreatrix. Delays are the name of the game with her royal highness because

It's all in the details, people, and details take time.

Or so she says. Sheesh.

I'm supposed to post some detail shots of some of my gang because Kreatrix is so excited about them.

Notice how the noses are raised from the face? Ok, so I'm envious. Mine isn't. Perhaps I'll request a nose job for Christmas.

And behold the lush lashes. Again, jealous.

Personally hand-dyed fabric by the Kreatrix. Eve 2.0 is shown with a few samples. Oh she's envious but at least she was the first one to get the new improved booty. She can actually sit up whilst checking out the envy-inducing fabric.

Look at this gang! Look at their paws! Notice how they're perpendicular to the ground? Guess whose aren't.

And each member gets a cool little pom-pom thingy attached to its paw! Made by the Kreatrix for all but me.

So let's tally up the qualities Kreatrix is bestowing on my current community members that I PERSONALLY DON'T HAVE because she was

just finding my way...

Again. Her words. So, here we go:

A new and improved booty (Hey Kreatrix: I could actually sit without falling over).
A soft sculpted nose that rises so gently away from the face.
Fluffy, sexy lower eye lashes.
Adorable little paws that are actually perpendicular to the ground...very cool. I am not worthy.
Fancy, soft hand-dyed fabric for the body
A fluffy, colorful pom-pom for each cat to wear

Due to said details being ladled upon the creation of my community I am only now posting photos for the initiation ceremonies of my newest members...which took place in July. JULY. Ahem.

Behold Dr. Rascal teaching the newest members the fine art of posing for maximum cuteness.

And the greatest news of all? I present Toni and Sami posing in a gallery gift shop in North Carolina! Woo-hoo!

And so world domination begins.

Yowza! New Soft Sculpture Cats! • 6 Comments

The Kreatrix • August 11, 2016

They're Here! Our New Soft Sculpture Cats!

At looooong last, the Kreatrix wants me to introduce you to our newest Happiness Minions!

Meet Chester

Chester was created by the Kreatrix using a mysterious ancient technique of fabric dying called Arashi Shibori. Remember the whole pole dancing bit from the previous post? Welp...Chester wrapped himself around a pole and Kreatrix did her magic.

Meet Cooper

If Cooper looks reminiscent of a man's suit, then you're smarter than you think. Kreatrix calls this technique upcycled. I call it Uptown Funk.

Meet Chloe

Chloe is created from hand dyed raw silk using a magic method called Itajime Shibori. Kreatrix says it involves folding fabric and using special clamps. (Chloe makes me purr but don't tell Ginger.)

Meet Sami

Sami is one of the upcycle gang and began life as a stretchy man's shirt. Nowadays Sami is lookin' pretty smokin' and has a very cool belly patch!

Meet Sweetpea

Sweetpea is another one of our pole dancers (Kreatrix doesn't think I should describe it this way). Sweetpea is 100% Raw Silk and hand dyed in the Arashi Shibori style. Hubba hubba.

Meet Toni

Toni is quite the orange tabby tiger! Made from silk velvet and also a pole dancer using the Arashi Shibori technique, Toni is quite soft and very easy on the eyes!

There's more folks but these are the 6 happiness minions that are making the rounds with the Kreatrix. A gallery back East is already starting to carry some of my gang! More details and photos coming soon.

And now for a very rare and illusive photo of the Kreatrix. I'm told this is called a PR Shot. Whatever. Kreatrix doesn't like her photo taken. EVER. So she may or may not have been blotto when she actually let the Professor take this picture.

Stay tuned!

The Horse, The Pole Dancer and The Meaning of Death • 3 Comments

The Kreatrix • July 18, 2016

A Lesson in "Things Are Not As They Seem"

Kreatrix likes horses, so I asked her if I could have one.

Voila!

There's one problem. I can't make it move. Where's the button? I mean, I look cool and all but shouldn't this thing move forward?

So Kreatrix is taking this photo and, not wanting to give away my complete ignorance when it comes to horses, I quietly remarked

He's a bit lazy...doesn't seem up to going for a ride today.

Kreatrix gets this sweet look on her face like she feels just a little sorry for me. She says

Aww. Here, let me help.

She comes up behind me, wraps her hands under the horses belly, makes him levitate inches above the ground, and says in my ear

cloppity clop, clop, cloppity clop, clop...

She sets me down six feet further and takes this picture.

I exclaimed loudly

I wasn't born yesterday, ya know!!

Her sweet reply?

I know exactly when you were born. I made you.

But wait, there's more! She told me several weeks ago she was taking classes with someone named Shibori and is learning to Pole Dance and is going to die!

Well, well, well...I Googled Pole Dance and I was furious with her when she returned home. Not nice, Kreatrix. Very uncool.

Wait for it.

She gets that same darn sweet "so-sorry-for-you" expression and shows me this photograph.

I did NOT calm down because I thought she was showing me what she wore while - you know - doing her dancey routine.

I. Am. So. Lame.

This is fabric she is learning to dye (not die) in a technique called Shibori that involves pole wrapping NOT pole dancing.

Here is what her "costume" looked like once she dyed it.

The good news is, she's making my community out of this fabric!!! WOOT! Stay tuned for photos! That's silk velvet up there, folks. Very soft and cuddly.

Here's another style made by folding fabric and dying it.

AND this, too!

While nursing my wounded ego in the back yard with my lazy horse, I found this dude.

Whatcha think?

The very nice lady who teaches Kreatrix how to do pole wrapping and dying (not die and not pole dance) can be found here and here. I am told she is a very wise and talented woman who has lived all over the world and imparts wisdom to students of all ages!

Oh Snap! • 3 Comments

The Kreatrix • June 28, 2016

Kreatrix here. The comments section is NOT working!

The Chairman is in the other room having a meltdown.

We are all feeding the curse jar while working on the problem.

The Chairman has something he wants to type:

For the love of all that's sacred, please scroll down past this drivel and see the post I worked so hard to create! I...I...I have to go lay down.

Welp. There you have it.

High Priestess of the Jungle • 3 Comments

The Kreatrix • June 27, 2016

Yep. Been awhile. Don't blame me!!

I, for one, got so disgusted with the Kreatrix and her obsession of needing to make money via her other job, that I packed my bag and left for the Tropics.

There are many Wise Ones to be found in the jungle. Here I am waiting to be counseled by Zelda Von Fripowitz, a very powerful being.

It’s hot here, folks, but I am determined to get some answers regarding life.

This is me going over questions in my head whilst waiting for Zelda, High Priestess of The Jungle and Keeper of All Knowledge.

I feel kinda like Indiana Jones!

BEHOLD. I PRESENT YOU WITH ZELDA VON FRIPOWITZ

Kreatrix just looked at this post and asked me to tell the truth.

Gah. Fine!

Zelda is a bearded dragon who came to live with us. I have since found out she is NOT from the jungle or the tropics. She's a creature of desert climates. She is, in fact, from Australia. AUSTRALIA PEOPLE! Well, throw another shrimp on the barbie and call me an idiot. Blimey! NOT MY FAULT.

HEY, Kreatrix, Zelda’s terrarium called and wants you to remove the TROPICAL background scenery. Sheesh.

A cat sees tropical scenery, he thinks tropical thoughts.

We all knew a creature like Zelda was destined to be a part of our future. (Click here for a quick refresher as to why.)

ANYWHO, turns out Zelda is very wise indeed (she sounds like Yoda when she talks). We frequently consult her with our innermost ponderings. (Again, I’ve been asked to strike these statements but I won’t.)

It’s true, Kreatrix!

THE BEST PART: Zelda put a whammie on Kreatrix and it worked!!!! She’s back to building my community with some new and exciting twists!

Stay tuned!

The Poop Illuminator • 4 Comments

The Kreatrix • March 2, 2015

That's right. You heard me.

First, I want you to cleanse your mental palate before proceeding. Just stare at the photo below for a moment.

The building of my community has come to a screeching halt due to the Kreatrix’ incessant need to design packaging for, among many things, dog products.

Awhile back she created the brand identity (fancy phrase for “made up the logo/general appearance”) for SOHO Dogs. All kinds of shampoo, toys, grooming products and, yes, poop bags in which your collect your dog’s doody.

You can’t see me but I’m rolling my eyes. And may I remind you of this event.

It gets better.

See this design below?

Nice as it may look, a flashlight gets strapped to the center of the packaging with two rolls of poop bags on each side.

Why, Kreatrix, why?

Then I found out the flashlight comes unscrewed and there’s a roll of poop bags inside the flashlight.

We got into a debate. I say the flashlight is so you can see the poop and pick it up. Kreatrix says it’s to illuminate your path if you’re walking your dog after dark.

My reply?

If it’s dark, how do you find the poop? FEEL around for it? HELLOOOOO.

Yipee. I won. And since I find all this poop talk so repulsive, I will sign off with with a few nice smelling designs she recently created for humans (who, thankfully, don’t prance around the hood depositing presents in their neighbors yards whilst someone stands by and watches).

Ahhhhh. Much better.

She’s Like a Mad Scientist • 6 Comments

The Kreatrix • February 17, 2015

Organization Must Be The Magic Formula

Ever since the Kreatrix organized her art lair she's been on a creative bender! Which is good because this is happening:

YAY! She won't let me show his face, yet, because he hasn't gone through the initiation. And there's two more underway!!! Eve is helping the Kreatrix with one of them.

We're none quite sure what she's up to here but it seems to make her happy.

And this, too. She's got a cool old metal rolodex full of cards she uses to do quick designs that only take about 15 minutes.

We wondered why she was hording all the scraps of her designs she printed up when working for ~~clients~~ those-who-shall-not-be-named. I spy a few of them up there! You may remember these rolodex cards from a year ago.

Annnnd then she got all excited when she found this stuffed in a drawer.

I didn't want to be rude but I asked:

What the heck is that?

She showed me some of the inside parts.

She tells me this is a journal she began making over a year ago.

I had to ask:

Why do you have so many journals you've made with nothing in them? Don't you have anything to say?

Oops.

She just stared at me with her mouth kinda open. I must get to the bottom of this unique twist! I'm on it!!

Stay tuned because there is a whole lot more goin' on here than just the above shenanigans! All will be revealed!

Leaky Eye Syndrome • 5 Comments

The Kreatrix • February 3, 2015

At Least It's Not Contagious

Kreatrix had a bad case of Leaky Eye Syndrome. Apparently you humans can get upset and your eyes squirt water and sometimes it's accompanied by words that make you feed my curse jar. Just sayin'. WOOT for me, BOOHOO for your wallet.

We did kinda gang up on her last week (see here).

Good news!

It worked! Kind of. She got so upset at not being able to find any of her supplies (and everything being such a mess) that she gutted her magic lair and redesigned it. And since this is where I live with the World Domination Gang we got more room!!!

HANG ON! Look what we found while helping her clean out a closet:

She gasped and says all dreamy-like:

I'd forgotten I ever made this doll and I just asked for a sign if I should continue pursuing making the dolls.....

WHAT?!! So I sez to her:

NOW WAIT JUST A DARN SECOND! GET THE CURSE JAR 'CAUSE I AM NOT HAPPY! You are wondering if you should make more of MY COMMUNITY? Explain, please!!!

I even threw in a few words I haven't repeated here. She tells me:

It's very hard to build a business alone, especially when you already have a very demanding job.

I had a great comeback:

Well, little missy, maybe you should have made me with opposable thumbs and I could have helped!

I dragged the strange little dude over to see Dr. Rascal, who did some ancient woo-woo energy healing work on him.

The adorable cat doll named Dr. Rascal, sits in his chair with his paws on the old doll as The Chairman cradles him in his arms. — Notice Dr. Rascal's steely concentration...

Doc explained to me that he senses very good energy from this doll and that I should convince Kreatrix to finish sewing him up and keep him as a reminder she is on the right path.

Well. I ,for one, am a bit disturbed by his inner head gear falling out the side.

After I cooled off I asked the Kreatrix why she didn't finish him.

Well, I made him about 8 years ago out of an old suit belonging to the Prof. When I showed him the doll he told me his nose looked like a man's #$%&* so I tossed him to one side and didn't finish him. BUT the fact I was trying to make dolls back then tells me how passionate I must be about doing this.

Well, well, well. So "We" got all frustrated over a little joke!

OK. So it does look like a #$%&* but SO WHAT!

I'm just gonna hang with the weird little guy until she finishes him.

Stop looking at his nose and get your mind out of the gutter.

Well, well, well… • 6 Comments

The Kreatrix • January 28, 2015

In an attempt...

...to get the Kreatrix' attention I MAY have shown the following video to Wally, Melvin and Rudy.

Maybe.

Just so they could stage a coup, a takeover of the house. Maybe. Ya know, shake up the management a bit.

And while I'm very happy for how well the Kreatrix' design business is flourishing, I'm thinking some of that money could be used for house renovations and additional wings added for Yours Truly, Ginger, Dr. Rascal, Penny, Eve and so on and so forth. Oh, yes, and

CREATING MORE OF MY WORLD DOMINATION COMMUNITY???

I'm going into my TINY bedroom to pout now.

Catberry Tails™

Where Cats and Art Collide